I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
