i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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