just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
