what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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