He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
