Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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