I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
