It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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