I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
