we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
