I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
