I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
