Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
