please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Randomize
