apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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