hell yes lets make some ravioli
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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