i just had sex bonerless
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
