i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
