I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
