Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
