Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
