I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
