just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you will always have a special place in my vag
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
