Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
