so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize