I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
