actually, I'm a sock model
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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