lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
