it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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