There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
