dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
