Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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