she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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