i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
should my penis look like a turkey
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
