your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
