I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
