I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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