Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
