Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
