u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
