Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
