She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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