You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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