Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
where does the pee come out of this thing
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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