Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
