So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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