the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
