I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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