he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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