why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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