after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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