im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
