I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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