last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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