The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
