so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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