If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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