we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
