Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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