Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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