Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
