Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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