I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
